Wednesday, November 22, 2023
“This is my
commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no
greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends
if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t
confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything
the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I
appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give
you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other.” (John
15: 12 =-17, New Living Translation)
Recently, I was taken to task by
someone whom I didn’t know but had accepted her request to become a friend. She
was annoyed with me for not responding to her “How are you doing?” Her exact
words were, “Hello it seems you don’t want to talk to me so why did you
accept me in the first place.”
Good question!
Now, I get a lot of friend requests
from both known friends and many strangers
because of this blog. I don’t accept them all. Some look suspicious. Some seem
inappropriate for one reason or another. Unfortunately, when I do accept one
and a text comes back that asks, “How are you doing?”, most of the times, it seems
that this is a trojan text – not the person it says it is from, and then it
tries to sell me something i.e. It’s a scam. This happens with people I do know
as well as well as strangers. I don’t know if this is AI or a robot generated,
but it is all bogus. So now, anymore, I don’t usually answer “How are you doing?”
Now, my hurt, new almost- friend began with the prohibited phrase and
got ignored. Sorry!
It is way too easy to click a
button and think you have made a friend. This method is impersonal, carries no
real obligation than maybe a quick chat now and then. It is generally quite artificial
and superficial for the most part. Conversations are short and sweet. I am not saying this is all bad but let’s not
carried away that we are truly making hundreds of real friends through this
process.
I will be honest. I am not all that
good at sustaining outside-of-family friendships. I am too much of a recluse,
harboring my privacy, an introvert enjoying my own small world. It is not an especially
good thing. Just ask my friends!
Friendships are hard for me. I
wish it were not so. Friendships take commitment,
trust, tolerance, patience, good humour, acceptance and total understanding. I flounder sometimes in practicing those characteristics
outside of my most immediate family.
Nevertheless, Jesus has
requested my friendship and I have accepted his request. He is not my pal, my
buddy, my BFF but he is my Friend, a life’ s companion, a confidant, a fellow
brother along life’s way, an encourager and a close advisor. But the same is true in this friendship as any
other. This Friendship also take commitment, trust, tolerance, patience, good
humour, acceptance and total understanding.
It comes with responsibilities and investment of time, energy and labour.
“I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit.”
I can’t get away with just
clicking the friend request button and then ignoring him. He expects an answer
from me. He expects me to engage in a
deeper conservation with him. It is not just “How are you doing?” and some glib
response or ignoring it all together. It is also about listening, asking, discussing,
engaging in the relationship to which I have been invited. Not always easy,
sometimes painful, but always full of Love, Grace, Compassion, Mercy, Forgiveness
– the deep-down traits of a good Friend.
“What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!”
Dale
Ralph
ReplyDelete