Wednesday, May 24, 2017

                Thirty-nine years ago, on a Victoria Day weekend, I proposed to my wonderful wife, Susan. We were visiting my parents in Belleville. I chose a lovely little rose garden in a park not far from my folk’s home. She said ‘yes’ immediately.   We got back to the house to tell my parents and phone hers. There is a spurious family legend that I also intentionally timed it all so that I could still watch the baseball game with my dad. Talk about fake news!

                The moment, always fondly remembered, holds more poignancy today as our youngest daughter, Maggie, chose this past weekend, the Victoria Day weekend, to be married. There was a charming and delightful ceremony in First Baptist Church in Goderich (where they live and work) as she and Ryan exchanged their marriage vows. We are delighted and proud that all of our four children have found such terrific life-partners. Our family has been made even stronger and more complete somehow by the families they are now creating, be it grandchildren or grand-dogs.

                A lot has happened in those nearly forty years, but Susan and I have been blessed and then some! I might be tempted to give back a few years of ministry here and there but I wouldn’t trade our four children, Nick, Katie, Nathaniel and Maggie for “all the tea in china” as the old saying goes.

                Oddly, even though all our children have been independent adults for some time, the marriage of our youngest has seemed, for me, more transitional than I thought it would be – at least symbolically. A number of people at the wedding commented to us that it must feel good to have the last one launched or something to that effect. I hadn’t really been thinking of it that way.

                But it is true that we are truly empty-nesters now. (I may change the locks just in case one of them decides to come home to mother.)  This transition makes one sense the passing of time – not necessarily in a negative way, but in an awareness that we have done the best we could; they are all now making their own unique way in the world, and we have become more observers, albeit encouragers and cheerleaders, than hands-on participants.  All of that is perfectly OK as far as I am concerned.

It can be a relief in some ways. I no longer wait up anxiously to all hours of the night wondering where they are and if they are all right. We get to sit back and enjoy their journey, growth and progress. We get to baby-sit and spoil the grandkids, feed their dogs from the table, take vacations and holidays together, email and text, and though we may never stop worrying about them it is really cool that our children are our equals.

We made  - well mostly, I made – mistakes in parenting but by and large we didn’t mess it up too badly, I think. They weren’t perfect in growing up but neither were we. “They done turned out purtty good!”

“Point your kids in the right direction - when they're old they won't be lost,” (Proverbs 22:6, The Message).

Here’s hoping!

Dale