Wednesday, June 19, 2019

“Don't you see that children are God's best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth.  Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children!" (Psalm 127: 3-4, The Message Bible) 

                Talk about quiversful, our family is growing and then some.

                Let me re-phrase the Psalm slightly. “Oh, how blessed are you grandparents with your quivers full of grandchildren.”

                Along with the previously announced anticipated Fall arrivals of two grandchildren, a third is now expected by early January, a newborn for Krista and Nathaniel, a sibling for Declan. We are the envy of every wanna-be grandparent we meet, and a few who would like more grandchildren.

                Along with the joys of my retirement, we will have the pleasure of 7 grandchildren, all under the age of six. Yeah, I know; I am just rubbing it in.

                Yesterday, I was having a conversation with one of the daughters of my doctor. He had been asked by another patient whether he was spoiling his twin, five-year old grandsons. Of course, he was. The daughter who is also the receptionist sardonically chirped in by saying that she found it hard to believe that this is the same man who raised her as he is  now such a softie when it came to the grandsons. I suspect that my adult children could say much the same thing about me.

                I don’t know what it is about grandchildren but dang it, they can make you weak at the knees.

                I suppose that I could fret about the kind of world these three children are being born into. Sometimes, it looks like a mess – environmentally, politically, culturally, and so on. We all could do a better job of improving this ol’ world so that our children and grandchildren have a better opportunity to enjoy the future. But I expect that sentiment has been expressed for time immemorial by all upcoming generations which doesn’t make it any less true or poignant.

                I also suppose that it would be easy for old codgers like myself to complain that that today’s youth and children have never had it so easy and how entitled and self-absorbed they seem. I could say that; except I don’t really believe it that much. I think that today’s children and youth face issues, circumstances, peer pressure, defining sexual identities, pressures that most of us never even dreamed of when we were young. Each generation is different, of course, and faced or are facing diverse challenges. But I would say that in my youth the main question seemed to be, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Now it seems to be “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” And it seems a a much harder question to answer.

                I’ve said it before but I will say it again; in light of the world which our children are facing, we need to be a compass for them. This doesn’t mean we make their decisions for them all the time or force down their throats our old social, theological, cultural doctrines and creeds. We encourage; we listen; we speak from our experience when they ask; we seek accountability without threats and intimidation. We accept our responsibilities as adults to model, guide, teach, lead, inspire, bless, forgive and love our children at all costs. A compass – we point out a possible direction; eventually we let them go.

                I will confess that this is somewhat easier for a grandparent.  We don’t spend 24/7 with our grandchildren. We’d probably go nuts if we did or at least be so exhausted that we wouldn’t care that they’ve dressed up the cat and are holding it hostage in a doll carriage. So, instead,  we encourage their parents; give ‘em a break every  now and then; listen a lot and then advise but only if and when asked; let them make mistakes and then empathize; help them find the humour in some of situations and let them know that they are still unconditionally loved (even as we wilfully remind them that what goes around comes around).

                “Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.” (Psalm 71:18, New Living Translation)

Dale