Wednesday, June 17, 2020

“Greet each other with a kiss of love. Peace be with all of you who are in Christ.” (1 Peter 5:14, New Living Translation) 

                Hugs and kisses! That’s what I have been missing the most during this social distancing phase of the pandemic. The hugs and kisses of our grandchildren, especially.

                But now that the bubble has begun to burst, Susan and I took full advantage when our daughter, Katie, invited us to go join them for supper on Sunday – to become their social family circle. Nine-month old Amelia wasn’t too sure about all this hugging and kissing stuff but almost four-year old Spencer was  giving out hugs and kisses that were enough for both of them. That first gigantic hug from Spencer was pure gold! I didn’t want to let go.  I can’t wait to hug the rest of the grandchildren in the very near future.

                Even before social distancing became the social norm, one had to be very careful in handing out hugs to others. Some people simply aren’t huggers by nature to begin with. Some hugs end up disrespecting appropriate boundaries between male and female. Other hugs might be misinterpreted as signals of deeper affection than they really are. Teachers were cautioned about hugging their students. As a pastor I tried to allow a parishioner to make the first move in initiating hugs and tried to never assume it was acceptable. It can be very embarrassing to go to hug someone and realize that they weren’t expecting it or comfortable about it. Been there, done that.

                There are five instances in the New Testament of Christians being encouraged to greet each other with a holy or sacred kiss. Our text above is the only instance in which it is called a “kiss of love.”  The love behind this kiss is the agape Love of God, an unconditional, gracious, compassionate embrace of joyful fellowship and friendship. It is commonly called the “kiss of peace” in some church traditions. I expect that it was a sign of amicable and harmonious relationship between the two Christians who were exchanging the embrace.  

It became formalized as part of liturgy but I wonder if it started out that way in the beginning.  Perhaps, it was more of a spontaneous, generous expression of mutual affection in the name of Jesus. To deem it a “sacred kiss” would imply it is supposed to be a respectful act of trust; not to be abused or violated in any way. Whatever its form, I think the people of God are supposed to be all about hugs and kisses.

                It is the skeptical Teacher of Ecclesiastes who reminds us that there is “a time for embracing and time to refrain from embracing.” Sadly, we’re are in that time of refraining. It is hard to put as much feeling into an embrace given through a mask or a PPE. Waving at a loved one through a window is OK but no where close to a real hug or a kiss. Video chats are wonderful but not as good as having face to face conversations. Imaginary fist bumps look sort of silly, even if well meant. You can’t hug a person who is six feet away from you.  God forbid that this hugless society ever becomes the new normal!

                I enjoy those TV ads for a diaper company which celebrate the intimate touch of a hug between a mother and a baby or a father and a baby, skin on skin. A child needs to be held, embraced, cuddled, kissed and touched to feel fully loved, to feel safe, to feel contentment and to feel acceptance and to know that his or her world is right to live in.  Each of us has an inner child that needs the same assurances and signals that we are not alone but we are loved and secure in that Love, by God and by others. That’s what a sacred embrace truly embodies and incarnates, both for the giver and the receiver.

            Holy, sacred, loving, juicy, big, fat hugs and kisses. 

The world needs a hug right now.

So do you. Here is a virtual one from me! It’s the best I can do until we see each other again. Soon, I hope and pray.

Pass it on!

Dale