Wednesday, February 16, 2022

“Anyone who claims to live in God’s light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark. It’s the person who loves brother and sister who dwells in God’s light and doesn’t block the light from others. But whoever hates is still in the dark, stumbles around in the dark, doesn’t know which end is up, blinded by the darkness.”  (1 John 2: 9 -11, The Message Bible)

                “Hate” is a four-letter word and has been banned from use.

                At least, in the Costa household where my five-year-old grandson, Spencer, resides. In fact, Spencer is the resident rule enforcer and promptly calls one out if the banned word is used. I happened to say, “I hate driving on the Highway 401.” Spencer nudges his mother and tells on me for using the word. I was reading him a story on the weekend and the word “hate” was used in a sentence. He stopped my reading and pointed out my egregious error. I asked what was I supposed to do as it was right there in the text, in black and white.  “Change it”, he said matter-of-factly.

                It has made me think just how effortlessly, casually and frequently we tend to use the word “hate” in many contexts. Katie and Gary, Spencer’s parents, place a very high value on inclusivity, non-judgmentalism and acceptance. Their ban on the word reflects how they see the word being used against others who are different and therefore hated through acts of prejudice, racism, sexism, etc.

                There are many activities we may say we hate: going to the dentist, shovelling snow, getting up in the morning, Brussel sprouts (which I actually like), getting a speeding ticket, having to wait in a line up, and many, many more. Mostly trivial, although irritating. We deal with  these things and they don’t really determine our lives’ well-being.

                But when hatred turns to feelings of constant detesting, deeply ingrained loathing, or continuous abhorring and focusing those hard feelings against others, hatred becomes an impediment to healthy living.

                Right now, hatred has never been more prevalent. We are deeply divided, intolerant, blinkered. We are quick to say we hate politicians, truckers, scientists, doctors, liberals, conservatives, LGTBQ, straights, pro-lifers, free choice-ers, etc. It is mismanaged and misguided hatred that leads to acting out this hatred in opposition to anything or everyone which doesn’t fit yours or my standards. If you and I disagree, will we end up hating each other? “It’s going to be brother killing brother, father killing child, children killing parents. There’s no telling who will hate you because of me.”  (Mark 13: 12 -13, The Message)

                I am not sure how Spencer would like me to handle the word “hate” when it appears in scriptures which it does frequently enough, so as to be noticed. Just check out the Psalms where it is regularly said that God hates evil and those who do evil. Some of the Psalms express a strong hatred for others who do the writers wrong, even wanting revenge or punishment. “Rise up, O God, and scatter your enemies. Let those who hate God run for their lives.” (Psalm 68:1, New Living Translation)

                But we need to be very wise and cautious in our use of the word. Jesus seeks out better alternatives to hatred: “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.” (Luke 6: 27, NLT) Paul includes hatred in a list of wrong-sided living: “Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip.” (Romans 1: 29, NLT) Although there is a somewhat ironical twist in the use of the word later in the epistle: “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.” (Romans 12:9, NLT) It is OK to “love justice and hate evil.” (Hebrews 1:9, NLT)

                To follow Jesus, it is best to forego hatred, period. We should be seeking the good in others, not their worst characteristic’s and then hating them because they are different from us. Being different does not make someone evil or bad.  But hatred will always divide us, get in the way of reconciliation, confound peace, disrupt authentic communication, demolish relationships, and befoul the world in which we live.

                Spencer it right. Change the word. And we just might change the narrative, altogether.

 Dale