Wednesday, January 15, 2025

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Ephesians 4:2, The Living Bible)

               “Unique means one of a kind. My grandmother is a unique, one-of-a-kind person.”

                Way back, in grade seven or eight, our oldest son, Nick, was required to write a speech and give it in class.  He chose his grandmother, Barbara Neal, Susan’s mother, as his subject. They had a very close relationship and Nick adored her (as have all our grandchildren). In his speech, he explained why she was so special and unique. He actually made it to the city’s finals because of it.

                Those words take on a special poignancy this week as we remember Grandma Barb who passed away on Sunday night.  She was 93 years old. These words sum her up beautifully yet don’t begin to describe the full,  exceptional character of my mother-in-law. But I can say, with much love and appreciation, that Barb Neal was something else!

                I am sure that much will be remembered and said about her gracious and welcoming hospitality, bringing people from all sorts of backgrounds and nationalities into her home, invited to share a meal or a cup of coffee. University students were a favourite of hers. That’s how I got to know her, as a student in McMaster University, long before Susan Neal became the centre of my love. I was a frequent visitor in their home. Mum Neal always made time for me as she had for many throughout her life.

                Dad, Bruce Neal, was the centre of her world. Together, they made an incredible ministry team.  Mum used the telephone like an extension of her arm. She checked in on seniors, the lonely, the bereaved, church members and on and on it goes. She was the epitome of compassion and kindness.

                But, of course, we saw a side of her, not in the public eye. She was exactly the same. We, her family, were treated with the same love, compassion and concern. Our children loved to visit Grandma Barb and Grandpa Bruce which was shortened to G & G over time.  Their Grandma wouldn’t spoil them with gifts and candy and the like. But she gave them a far more valuable gift – her time and focus. There would be frequent trips to a local park along Lake Ontario, sometimes packing a picnic even though it was icy and cold. It was always followed up by a trip to Dairy Queen. She was always planning some experience for them. Once, they took young Nate to a wolf reserve because he was interested in wolves at the time. At Christmas, she would treat us all to go see the Nutcracker Suite or the like. Our kids never came home saying they were bored, but rather they couldn’t wait to go back.

                One time when Nick was about 5 or 6 years old, I was reprimanding him for something he shouldn’t have been doing. He had the sass to say to me that since we were at Grandma’s house, he didn’t have to listen to me. I can never remember a time when Grandma scolded, disciplined or chastised a grandchild. She used words to persuade, or she distracted them or got their minds on better things. It always seemed to work. Besides, it would be devastating to hurt Grandma’s feelings in any way, shape or form.

                A delightful side of her was her mischievous and sometimes, slightly risqué sense of humour. In the middle of some conversation, she would drop one of these bon mots to see what reactions she would get from the kids. They would hoot and laugh and tease. She knew exactly what she was doing but could look so innocent. Dinner tables at the Neal's was a cornucopia of joy, laughter, stories and now for-ever memories. They will always be holy and sacred memories.

                This just scratches the surface. Remember those old Reader’s Digest articles, “The Most Interesting Person I ever Met.”  Barbara Neal would be near the top of my list. It was hard to choose an appropriate scripture text that would speak to the life she lived. She embodied texts like Romans 15:7: “Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.” Or she lived out the parable of the sheep and the goats from Matthew 25, doing good for the  least of her brothers and sisters, never looking for praise or recognition.

But I will close, in tribute to Mum Barb, with these words from Romans 12: “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.  Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”

Uniquely, one of a kind!

Dale