Wednesday, November 4, 2026

“Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that. I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.” (Luke 6: 31 -36, The Message Bible)

                Several years ago, my daughter, Katie, and I were in the grocery store. We only had a few items and we were standing at the checkout counter behind a young mother (GenX) with her son, maybe 7 years old or so.  Their empty shopping cart was still in the way, blocking our access to the counter.  As they began to leave without making any effort to remove their cart out of our way, I (politely I thought) asked them to please take their cart with them. She sharply retorted “They have people for that.” Actually, this store didn’t. But that was not the point. It did speak loudly about her air of entitlement, I guess. I added that it was just simply courtesy for the rest of us, a good lesson for her son. (OK, maybe that was a little snide of me.) She accused me of having a bad day and called me a grouchy old man or words to that effect and left in a huff.

                This episode came to mind today when I read an article in the Globe and Mail about the “giant red flags” we may have when it comes to witnessing the poor behaviour and attitudes of people around us in the little things they do or don’t do.  “Humans are always looking for clues to someone’s true self, that tiny shred of evidence that proves we’re a ‘good judge of character.’ And once we’ve got our proof, the die is cast. The curious thing is how small the proof can be.” (Jane MacDougall) She, too, talked about how people treat their shopping carts as a tell-tale sign of good behaviour or manners. Do people return their carts or leave them just anywhere? “Do they do the right thing even though there’s no one forcing them to do it? This is considered an apex example of character.”

                Good character is built on a foundation of small, thoughtful, polite, caring, good habits. We don’t have to save the whole world but how we treat others will go far in making this a better world. It is the bedrock of Christian ethics, the simple command to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. I enjoy Jesus’ version of this instruction more than I do the one that says don’t do unto others as you would not want them to do unto you.  Jesus’ way is more positive, more action based, more intentional. But either way, we are being reminded that selfishness or self-centredness are not Christian traits of virtue. I am no saint in this regard but I am a firm believer that politeness, courtesy, consideration for others and mutual respect are signals of an active Christian life. These are, in many ways, the very least we can do when we are interacting with others around us, be they family, friends, church folk, strangers, store clerks, mechanics, etc. etc.

                Of course, you know Jesus; he pushes the edges of this commandment even further. “Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.” (Matthew 5: 38 42, The Message Bible) And here we are grumbling about grocery carts! There is just so much good we could be bringing to others if we only acted like Jesus to them.  Maybe if Jesus had said, “Do unto others as I would do for you,” it might sink in.  I can’t always change others or correct their behaviour - really not my job although I sometimes foolishly and hypocritically try - but I can treat others with civility, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, and be helpful and hope and pray that they will do the same for me.

                But please, move and return your shopping cart to its proper place. I would do the same for you.

Prayer:

Our Loving God, help us to see others as Jesus would see them. Make us aware how our actions and words may be helpful and encouraging. It is not always easy to be patient with others or tolerant of their insensitivity. But help us not to judge or simply criticize but rather work towards acts of love and kindness. Help us to be examples of doing good towards others, and not harm. In Jesus’ name, Amen.