Wednesday, June 5, 2019

“I compare you, my love, to as mare among Pharaoh’s chariots…” (Songs of Solomon 1:9, New Revised Standard version)

                I am pretty sure that most woman, i.e. wives or girlfriends, wouldn’t appreciate being compared to a horse, no matter how complimentary it was meant.  But when you read the Songs of Solomon, this compliment, at least, doesn’t make you blush and feel that you are reading someone’s private, romantic mail between two lovers. “Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand. Your navel is a rounded bowl, that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat encircle with lilies. Your breasts are like two fans, twins of a gazelle…” (7: 1 3). Too much information here!

And what’s with all the animal analogies, “Your eyes are like doves…your hair is like a flock of goats moving down the slops of Gilead. Your teeth are like flock of shorn ewes that have comes up from the washing…” (4:1 – 2).

This man really knows how to turn a woman’s head!

But it leads me to some commentary which we watched on PBS recently – knowing how to take a compliment. And it has got me to thinking…

Many of us are not very good at it – taking a compliment. We deflect, brush off, ignore, trivialize, and make light of the good, complimentary things that may come our way.  Sometimes, it’s humility that stands in the way of the compliment. Sometimes, it because we don’t feel that we deserve it or have earned it or some have a very low self-image.  Some of us grew up believing that our good works were simply expected and one should never expect praise or commendation. It certainly was taboo to boast and toot your own horn. Actions called for modesty and self-deflection.

Worse is that we remember the uncomplimentary things people say about us far better than the complimentary things. One little criticism can overshadow a dozen nice things which were said and then eat away at us for some time. I was a master at that, worrying away at some small, unkind remark even while many others were patting me on the back. I even knew what I was doing to myself but found it hard not to dwell on the negativity, despite the praise.

The woman on PBS suggested that we keep a diary of the complimentary things that people say to us or about us. At first, that may sound a little egotistical, but I would agree that it may help remind us, especially in the rough times, that we are more capable and worthy and well-intentioned than we give ourselves credit for. Therefore, it encourages us to repeat our victories, no matter how small, and this helps build character and mindfulness and patterns of goodness (righteousness). Accepting a compliment, when deserved, lightens the soul, engages the heart, and uplifts the spirit.

It is not un-Christian to take a compliment. I might rather argue that it is more un-Christian to be judgmental, critical and hurtful toward others. It is more un-Christian not to pass compliments on to people around us, not flattery or fake praise, but a sincere acknowledgment when someone has done their best. Let them know it!

The apostle Paul could be a bit of a grumpy old cuss, at times, but he was always lavish with praise and gratefulness for his fellow-workers or the people in his churches.  They weren’t perfect but he encouraged them with his appreciation for their faith and labours. E.g. “We always give thanks to God for all of you and mention you in our prayers, constantly remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ,” (1 Thessalonians 1: 2 -3, NRSV)

So, when someone says somethings good to you or about you, receive it with joy and thanksgiving.  Then, pass it on to someone else. Seek the good and it will come back to you!

Let your words and deeds be like a sack full of squealing, little piglets…  oh, you know what I mean!

Dale